It's About Time....

I'm so truly excited to finally have my blog set up, well partially, ha! I always have so many thoughts and experiences I want to share with the people I am closest to. I want to let yall "in on the know" per say, of what's going on with my life and my precious family. My blog is still a work in progress so bare with me please :)...

2010 has been a crazy, stressful, exciting but truly joyful year. You know, when you end up getting pregnant you can never expect what the pregnancy is going to be like. I for sure didn't plan on being bed rest bound the majority of the pregnancy. At first, the break from the world was so nice. I enjoyed the peace and quite. I loved all the sleep and rest I was able to get, and even down to watching t.v. which I have never really been big on. I think the hardest part of bed rest at first was the reason I was on it. With miscarrying my first child, having the same symptoms of spotting brought fear into my heart. Was the same things going to happen again? Why can't my body just be normal? Have I done something wrong to deserve this? I remember fighting against this "fear" for quite a while. It was truly overtaking my thoughts and even my dreams. People would do all they could do to encourage me, but for some reason I couldn't move past the thought of loosing another baby. I remember my prayers starting to all run together, almost as if I didn't know how to pray anymore. My heart was literally in pain due to my prior heartache and I had allowed fear to consume me. I didn't want to struggle with fear. I knew it was wrong, but I new Satan had a hold on me. He had me right where he wanted me...to steal away my joy from this wonderful time in my life. After a while it's as if I had, had enough and I fell down to my knees crying out to God...Please take this fear away and keep my baby safe. That night I had a dream that changed my heart the rest of my pregnancy. I dreamed I was outside this cave and the opening was very low to the grown. In order to enter you would basically have to lay on your stomach and crawl into the cave. It was pitch dark ahead of me and I could not see anything. When I felt fear of going forward, I tried to turn around to back out of it and behind me stood a big Lion. The Lion continued to nudge me into the cave and I continued to try to get out of going. The Lion was persistent so I turned and headed into the cave, terrified of what lied ahead. After being pretty far into this dark cave unable to see...I turned to look behind me and the Lion was gone. As I turned to look back toward the inside of the cave, there the Lion stud roaring at me with huge teeth and his breath I could feel because he was right in my face. After the Lion showed his power, he spoke in clear words and said... Stop fearing my child...Trust In Me! When I woke at that moment out of the dream, it was then that I had complete peace regarding my pregnancy. I new at that very moment the Lord gave me that dream. Now why He came to me as a lion, I have many thoughts about but I Praise Him for getting my attention. I realized that I was not supposed to know what was ahead in this pregnancy, just like I didn't know what was ahead in the cave. I was supposed to trust God period. Through out the pregnancy let me assure you Satan tried many times to pull me back down with fear. If you know a lot about my pregnancy, you know that there where more complications and plenty room to struggle with fear. Though I have to say, through all the prayers given and being reminded of my dream, the majority of the pregnancy I had peace everything would be okay. Today I hold a precious baby girl in my arms that is a significant picture of God's beauty and creation. We are truly excited of our life with Tenley, and can't wait to experience whatever God has in store for her. Tenley was born July 29, 2010. She was 5 weeks early and perfectly healthy. I remember thinking when J told me she was out of the NICU the night she was born.... for real?!?!...I immediately gave God Praise because it was only by His Grace that, that could have been. Tenley's story has already touched lives...it's exciting for me to think about the many more lives she will touch as she grows. As for me, the pregnancy was all worth it. Not only was I blessed with a little baby girl, I was blessed by what the Lord wanted to teach me through it all. I pray that from here on out I will be reminded that God has a purpose for everything. Though it would not have been my choice for a difficult pregnancy and delivery...I see why it was God's choice for it to be that way. Praise be to our Faithful Father and may I learn to trust Him more the next time a hardship comes around.